Being a mom is hard. It's hard, hard work. Sometimes it is frustrating and sometimes it's sad. Sometimes it's joyful and sometimes it's melancholy. Today it's a little of all these. Today was Nolan's first baseball practice for the season. A time of change and new beginnings. It's Spring! It's baseball season!
However, to say our son is out of shape is an understatement! He needs conditioning terribly! But, he tries. I know he tries. I hate picking him up and seeing him struggle so hard. He's a stocky boy and not a runner. For some reason the coach likes to have them run. And that's fine, but my son is not a runner. Doesn't take after his mom who was a runner in school. Takes after his dad who wasn't. So I was sad to see him struggle. The coaches were cheering them on, but it still made me sad.
It also makes me sad, frustrated and melancholy to be around the parents of his team. Some of them are just plain rude and mean! One mom in particular, but I won't name any names. She's just NOT my favorite person! I love baseball. Always have. I love that our son plays it. That makes me happy! But, other aspects make me sad and a little depressed. It's the start of a great new season, but old feelings begin to surface and old thoughts rear their ugly head! I'll survive. I'm strong and tough. But it worries me for our son. His struggle is real and it makes me nervous to have him in a sport that he loves but may not be able to keep up with. Some of the kids on the team take after their parents too and are awful! That makes me nervous for him. (Ps....same parent as above's son!) Just an FYI.
I don't know. I'm musing and not making much sense. I feel it. My head is all over the place. I know it. Spring is a new season and time of change. So I guess I'll just have to go with the flow and let the change happen. Will he be the best? Who knows. Will he try? Yes. Will he get frustrated and angry? Yes! Will I get frustrated and angry? Yes! I'm a mom. When my child hurts....I hurt. When he's sad, angry, frustrated.....so am I.
Being a mom is hard work. No one ever said it was going to be easy. But, I hear him laughing outside with one of the neighbor kids.....all is ok for awhile. He'll be fine. But will I? Being a mom is hard, hard work. Just my view.
Until Next Time....